I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
