i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
