I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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