just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
