ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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