Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
