Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
