I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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