come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
