going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize