just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
