i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
a search helicopter?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
