I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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