Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
