Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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