farters have to be the big spoon...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize