if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
