In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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