i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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