You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
