I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
