So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I won the penis lottery.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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