Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
