Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
