just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
handjob tips. give me some.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
