It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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