I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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