How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
