i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
