White coat. Heels.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
