its not stalking. its research.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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