your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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