His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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