Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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