I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
