fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
