Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
