things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
