dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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