Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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