LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
