kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
