I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
