did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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