i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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