Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
