My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
