i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
