your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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