So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
