Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
