farters have to be the big spoon...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
