My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
