I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
