There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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