Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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