i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And then my night got REAL pukey
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
