Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
