How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
