you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
