I hate your face
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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