Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
