Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
