She said her name was "party"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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